It's OK That You're Not OK Meeting Grief and Loss in a Culture That Doesn't Understand review ó eBook or Kindle ePUB

read It's OK That You're Not OK Meeting Grief and Loss in a Culture That Doesn't Understand

It's OK That You're Not OK Meeting Grief and Loss in a Culture That Doesn't Understand review ó eBook or Kindle ePUB ↠ A New Resource for Those Experiencing Loss With It’s OK That You’re Not OK Megan Devine offers a profound new approach to both the experience Bout how grief should unfold allows us to accept it as a mystery to be honored instead of a problem to solve • Practical guidance for managing stress improving sleep and decreasing anxiety without trying to fix your pain Many people who have suffered a loss feel judged dismissed and misunderstood by a culture that wants to solve grief Megan writes Grief no needs a solution than love needs a solution It’s OK That You’re Not OK is a book for grieving people those who love them and all those seeking to love themselves and each other bett. Best for Those who are grieving or those who want to be better prepared to support those who are grievingIn a nutshell People who are grieving deserve better than what society offers them This book attempts to provide some direction towards thatLine that sticks with me “We have to be able to see what’s true without fear of being seen as weak damaged or somehow failing the cultural storyline” p 54Why I chose it Ms Devine spoke at an event I attended this past weekend and was kind enough to also sell her book to attendees prior to it’s release next monthReview The book is written almost as a love letter to a friend Ms Devine carries such kindness in her writing stemming from her own experience witnessing the sudden death of her partner Matt She was a writer therapist and artist prior to his death and was able to take her experience along with what she has learned from others to create a community Refuge in Grief to help others experiencing grief and write a book that both validates feelings and provides practical tips for navigating an experience that is utterly horribleThe through line of the book is that grief is not a problem to be fixed It is a new reality that the grieving person must honor and tend People will not “get over” profound losses and it is cruel to demand that they do Friends and family members of those who are grieving want their old loved one back and don’t listen or pick up on the overt and subtle clues that they are not helping We want to help but we want that help to lead to things being fixed and that’s not a thing that will happenIn my work we have that list of things to never say to someone who has lost someone and I see some of those phrases included here as well Things like “they’re in a better place” or worse “everything happens for a reason” Ms Devine goes into why these phrases are so very hurtful regardless of the fact that they usually come from a good intent Like in so many areas of life the harm caused doesn’t care what the intent wasThere are a million things I could say about this book I should caveat my review by pointing out that I am not the primary target audience — I have so far been lucky enough to not have experienced real loss in my life — but I have seen enough friends living in their grief to want to know how I can better support them While there is a section of the book that is directed at folks like me that I found immensely helpful there is also such value in reading words directed at those who are experiencing loss I cannot understand what they are feeling but I can at least get a sense of the challenges they are facing and the ways our culture and society can make a horrible experience so much worseThe event I attended where I purchased this book was Death Salon Seattle I chose to attend in part because I think our society has a very strange and unhealthy relationship with death in myriad ways from how some refuse to talk about it to how others are forced to talk about it at way too young an age to how we expect those who lose someone to ‘get over it’ ever and usually in a few months maybe a year tops and partly because my job as some of you know involves planning for the response to a mass fatality incident Most days I’m doing something death related; the Salon gave me an opportunity to look at death outside of the plans and procedures and meetings that fill up my workdaySeeing Ms Devine speak is a gift She was able to tailor her talk to this group in a way that recognized that a bunch of individuals who spend a lot of time thinking and talking about death may have some very specific ways we can support those who are actually experiencing loss This book is another gift and one I strongly recommend anyone who is thinking this might possibly be something they need pick up

Megan Devine ´ 3 summary

A New Resource for Those Experiencing Loss With It’s OK That You’re Not OK Megan Devine offers a profound new approach to both the experience of grief and the way we help others who have endured tragedy Having experienced grief from both sides as both a therapist and as a woman who witnessed the accidental drowning of her beloved partner Megan writes with deep insight about the unspoken truths of loss love and healing She debunks the culturally prescribed goal of returning to a normal happy life replacing it with a far healthier middle. I found this book hard to review as the author states every person’s grief is different I thought it was very well written My father passed away not that long ago so I wanted to read something that could help me process what I was feeling The author hits the nail on the head when she said the way we deal with grief is broken; this rang so true for me I loved how he book was set out in a way you can read all at once or dip in and out when there is a particular subject your struggling with The author is straight talking and describes some of the feeling I had around my father’s death perfectly This book is different from your normal self help guides; it touches on the side of grief we don’t always want to faceI have to add a uote from this book to sum up my feelings on grief and how I felt I connected with this book “Our culture sees grief as a kind of malady a terrifying messy emotion that needs to be cleaned up and put behind us as soon as possible”This is very true and this book shows it doesn’t have to be this way Thank you to Netgalley for my ARC I will be recommending this book to other family members who are also struggling to make sense of their own grief

summary Æ eBook or Kindle ePUB ´ Megan Devine

It's OK That You're Not OK Meeting Grief and Loss in a Culture That Doesn't UnderstandPath one that invites us to build a life alongside grief rather than seeking to overcome it On this unabridged audio recording read by the author Megan offers stories research life tips and creative and mindfulness based practices to guide us through an experience we all must face With Megan’s gentle but direct guidance you’ll learn • Why well meaning advice therapy and spiritual wisdom so often end up making it harder for people in grief • How challenging the myths of grief doing away with stages timetables and unrealistic ideals a. This was a helpful and comforting book in many ways but I have to admit I was really offended by Devine’s grief hierarchy in the beginning This is a book for people experiencing grief so why exclude people who don’t fit her definition of deserving to grieve I completely agree that out of order deaths must be the most intense But her assumption is that sudden accidental deaths of young people like that of her boyfriend are uniuely hard to process and the book reads almost like a memoir at times My heart goes out to her and I have no doubt that she is in so much pain over her loss But I am here to tell you that the long drawn out death of a parent can also leave your whole world turned upside down My mom was a fit and youthful 60 when she was diagnosed with terminal cancer Both her parents are alive and well so I guess this was technically an out of order death for them We had grand plans She had every expectation of living decades longer When she died last year the emotions were so complicated Watching her die was at once a horrible nightmare and a relief to see the end of her suffering—I felt so much guilt for feeling relieved and so much anguish over the many wrong things I had said and all the things left unsaid My dad’s grief is still overwhelming over a year later I am sadder today than I was last year Although my memory loss and other bizarre physical side effects have lessened I still can’t sleep I will never be the same I appreciate that this book tells me it’s okay that I am not okay I agree with Megan Devine that “this JUST happened” She says any time in the first two years or so it’ll feel like the loss is very recentI also appreciate that this book has a LOT of advice for people who are supporting a grieving person I wish those people would read it but at least those of us who have experienced grief will have some tools for helping our loved ones who go through it later on Our society is horrible at dealing with grief and it’s wonderful to have people like Megan Devine who are telling the truth about it At my mom’s memorial last summer people said the strangest things to me One woman berated me because my mom never announced her cancer on Facebook “I would have come to visit your mom or at least checked in with her if I’d known” Well lady let it be a lesson to you either you care about people and check in with them from time to time or you don’t and it shows Many people wanted details about her illness and about her risk factors she had none of them by the way; no family history of cancer and no other known risk factors People love to place blame so they can reassure themselves that it won’t happen to them Guess what Shit happens Those of us who have experienced loss understand that It can happen at any moment Magical thinking will not change it Nothing happens “for a reason” You just live and do your best to cope I think Devine’s grief hierarchy comes from her own unfortunate experience of people assuming she should “just move on” because it was “just” her boyfriend who died; they weren’t married and didn’t have kids so people were less sympathetic perhaps It’s not fair to her that people treated her that way I have friends who were similarly expected not to need to grieve a loss and I know it can really add layers of devastation to the experience Again I really feel for her But I wish she hadn’t focused so much on accidental deaths because it felt like the rest of us experiencing “expected” deaths should just move on already