If I Am Missing or Dead: A Sister's Story of Love Murder and Liberation Review Á 102

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If I Am Missing or Dead A Sister's Story of Love Murder and LiberationLent fear and pain Haunted by this Janine Latus turned her journalistic eye inward How she wondered did two seemingly well adjusted successful women end up in strings of physically or emotionally abusive relationships with men If I Am Missing or Dead is a heart wrenching journey of discovery as Janine Latus traces the roots of her own and her sister's victimization with unflinching candor This beautifully written memoir will move readers from the first to the last page At once a confession a call to break the cycle of abuse and a deeply felt love letter to her baby sister Amy Lynne Latus If I Am Missing or Dead is an unforgettable read. gah What is up with this book From what I understood this book is supposed to be about the author's younger sister being murdered I'm nearly halfway done and she's still just talking about herself with a few conversations with said sister tossed in It's almost like she used her sister's murder to write her own memoirWTHFinal Ok I totally did not like this book It had such a catchy title and the jacket blurb was really intriguing But as I said before very little of this book had to do with the sister's murder Very little In fact I kept reading just out of curiosity to see exactly WHEN the murder would be mentioned 98% of this book was about the author and her own issues And yeah they were crappy issues She went thru hell in her relationships But the fact that the book was supposed to be about the sister's murder I think that should have been the prominent topicSo anyway enough of that If you want to read about the author's struggles with an abusive husband read this Don't read it if you want to read about the sister's murder

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If I Am Missing or Dead: A Sister's Story of Love, Murder, and Liberation Review Á 102 ☆ In April 2002 Janine Latus's youngest sister Amy wrote a note and taped it to the inside of her desk drawer Today Ron Ball and I are romantically involved it read but I fear I have placed myself at risk in In April 2002 Janine Latus's youngest sister Amy wrote a note and taped it to the inside of her desk drawer Today Ron Ball and I are romantically involved it read but I fear I have placed myself at risk in a variety of ways Based on his criminal past writing this out just seems like the smart thing to do If I am missing or dead this obviously has not protected me That same spring Janine Latus was struggling to leave her marriage a marriage to a handsome and successful man A marriage others emulated A marriage in which she felt she could do nothing right and everything wrong A marriage in which she felt afraid controlled inadeuate and t. This book was a very uick read for me I read it cover to cover on a 4 hour flight The writing is stellar and the subject matter is very compelling I disagree with people who chide the author for telling her own story I always thought that was the pointher story of abuse and her story of her sister's death I cried many times during this book Janine's love for others her sisters her mother and other women in her life rang out loud and clear and familiar Violence against women and families remains a very real problem in our society I hope that we will all be empowered to work for change and help people move towards healthier domestic relationships

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Rapped Ten weeks later Janine Latus had left her marriage She was on a business trip to the East Coast savoring her freedom attending a work conference when she received a call from her sister Jane asking if she'd heard from Amy Immediately Janine's blood ran cold Amy was missing Helicopters went up and search dogs went out Coworkers and neighbors and family members plastered missing posters with Amy's picture across the county It took than two weeks to find Amy's body wrapped in a tarpaulin and buried at a building site It took nearly two years before her killer her former boyfriend Ron Ball was sentenced for her murder Amy died in si. Even though the basic premise of the account was her sister's death every element of the book didn't tie into it Instead what she did was establish a pattern of abuse that made it understandable for these two strong smart beautiful women to accept a pattern of abuse that is unacceptable for anyoneTo be fair she can't write about what she didn't know or experience herself We get to know Amy as a family member would know her in this case as a little sister They speak on the phone and through email They visit occasionally especially when Amy is overcoming cancer It's a powerful account of how life can render you powerless simply with the passage of time These women rely on each other but are also afraid to show weakness and tell someone else what is happening in their lives over years In the end Janine is divorced and Amy is dead There is also a stinging note of injustice here Janine ends up flat broke and alone starting over as she has again and again; Amy's admitted murderer ends up with the possibility of parole in twenty years or less Their Dad a smarmy creep who started the entire cycle of abuse ends up remarried He may be all but dead to his children only popping up occasionally after he and their mother divorce but that's really it He still makes crude and totally inappropriate comments at Amy's funeral and tries to kiss his adult daughters on the lips and never loses his sense of entitlement There is also a girl power sort of feeling that is hard to explain Their mother even in the early 80's when divorce was still not particularly common stepped up to support her family left her lecherous husband and eventually found a relatively happy life even if only for a while Janine left her means of sole support relying only on the fact that she had done it before and she could no longer exist in an emotionally and intellectually crushing environment nor could she leave that as a legacy for her daughter The last thing I will remember is this In our family we say it always Even before Before we knew for certain that any one of us could disappear We say it because it is who we are It is what binds us together as a family For some reason there is comfort in that Our lives are precious and we shouldn't waste them caring for those that don't care for us We should instead focus on making sure those who do care know how we feel in returnAbove all I'm now rooting for this woman I don't know who lives and exists somewhere with her daughter and hoping that she found a happy existence And I'm hoping that somehow her little sister is at peace Let's be honest I'm also hoping that her sister's murderer gets what he deserves